Daddy's Gone
by plug in baby57
Summary: Sam meets the father she hasn't seen for thirteen years. Inspired by the Glasvegas song and rated M just to be safe Strong Language .


Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly. I do own a Gameboy Colour and Pokemon Red but that's not important. This piece is a purely not for profit venture.

**Daddy's Gone**

I've got to call Carly later. She wants to know how it went. It's not in the past tense yet, unfortunately. I'm still here in Chilli My Bowl, the place where I once worked and quit in spectacular fashion, and I'm sitting opposite a pathetic waste of air, which is something I haven't called the dork yet. I'll save that for later. But I'm here, meeting my father for the first time in twelve years. And he's nothing. He's thin, his face drawn tight around his skull, like his head is shrivelling like a raisin. I'm never one to turn down food, but raisins are pretty lame. Who had the idea to eat a dried out grape? It's does nothing for you but make you want more and it'd be easier just to have the damn grape in the first place. Taste nicer too. I can't believe I got excited about this. He's been a junkie all this time and it shows. Hell, I'm taller than him. He can't even afford to buy my chilli. He barely even looks like me, except for his eyes. They're blue and the same shape but they're so lifeless and dull. He's just given up. He can't be bothered anymore, it's all in his eyes. He's nervous and weak. His hair's so scraggly. Looks like he's been dragged through a bush.

I can't have come from him. He's not the dad I remember, he's not the guy I wanted to be. Not that I wanted to be a guy, I just wanted to be tough. And strong, not become completely retarded like Mom. I grew up with a woman who talked to a cat and tattooed a foot onto her foot. That's why I'm tough. She wasn't going to help me. She didn't help me learn how to ride a bike and neither did this dude in front of me. And I was actually excited by this! That's ridiculous. I had my single memory of my father and he was the basis of my childhood. And none of that was right. He's not who I thought.

I remember having to get strong because Mom broke down. She went weird, we stopped going to the park and she started talking to the cat but it's not like play talk anymore and her feet always hurt but she never goes out and she wants daddy back but he's gone and everything smells like those bottles of stuff she rubs on her feet and daddy's not here so she needs little sammy to be strong like daddy was can you do that for mommy? I nod and remember daddy. Not much but I'm really high up like on a mountain and my hands are on his head and his hair is really short and his head feels fuzzy and he holds my legs and runs _really fast_ and laughs and I laugh and it smells like grass and trees and mommy is sitting down looking at us and other kids run around but I'm with daddy and he holds me up really high and he must be really strong because I'm much bigger than my last birthday when we had choclate cake and I'm higher than the swings and they're really big and the sun is really bright and straight up and that means it's lunch time because mommy said when the sun is really high and straight above then it's noon and that's lunch and I like lunch because mommy always make ham sandwiches but I don't want them now because daddy is spinning round fast and it's really fun because everything mixes and the sky and trees and swings are all funny looking and then daddy puts me down but they're all still spinning and it hurts my head and I fall over and my knee hurts really bad but daddy kisses it and it's not so bad and he says all better sammy? And I shake my head because it still hurts a bit and he lifts me up and carries me to mommy and she kisses it and now it's all better and everything is good because mommy and daddy always make it better and then daddy takes me on the swings and I go really high but mommy says I shouldn't and I'll get hurt but daddy is taking care of me and he never said I'll get hurt and after I look up and the sun is still really high which is good because mommy said that we could stay at the park until the evening which is when the sun is really low and you can't see much of it anymore which is because the earth is spinning and going round the sun but it doesn't look like it because the sun looks like it's going round and round the earth but daddy says that's wrong. So that means I have to be strong and lift things really high and never get hurt because daddy never got hurt but I don't know why daddy left.

And now I do. He was scared and weak. He was worthless, he started on the drugs and couldn't kick them. It was always Mom's side that were criminals, it came with being a Puckett, but my father was the one that fucked up. He didn't try, he didn't make the fucking effort, he had it all. He had me and Mom and we could have been something, more days at the park, a decent home and I could've had someone to teach me to ride my bike, I wouldn't have had to steal one because Mom didn't have a decent job and I wouldn't have had to be strong and I'd never have tried to take Carly's sandwich and... I wouldn't have her or iCarly.

He can fuck himself. I learnt to tie my laces and I learnt to ride my bike by myself and I did steal Carly's sandwich and now I'm one third of Washington State's biggest webshow. I never needed him and I'm not a thing like him. I'm the strong one and I won't let the sparkle in my eyes die. The only thing I've got to thank him for is showing me what I don't want to be. And that time when Spencer tried to give me 'the talk'. That was hilarious.

And now I realise that I shouldn't be sitting here silently contemplating while he goes one about missing my youth. That's not the way Sam Puckett works and what better place than Chilli My Bowl for me to go crazy? But I won't go crazy. I'm strangely calm about this and I've just got to say my piece and then rid myself of this turd forever. I stand up, ignoring whatever the hell he's babbling about.

"I've come this far without you Edward." I say, I always thought Edward was a shit name. "I don't need you. When I'm old I won't be lonely and crying about what I could have had."

**--AN--**

**Three pieces of inspiration, two hours and one piece of prose. The first inspiration for this was the song 'Daddy's Gone' by Glasvegas, and I've pinched the name for my title. I suggest that anyone who doesn't know of Glasvegas get onto youtube and have a listen, the accents are a bit much at first but it's worth it. Second was my own single major memory of my father which is sitting on his shoulders. Finally the idea of doing a stream of consciousness piece was inspired by John King's 'The Prison House', which I dare say is better than this. So leave a review please and yes, raisins are lame.  
**


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